20 steps to kicking your carb habit

  1. Right, a bread-and-pasta-free life, let’s do this
  2. Oh hello home-made sourdough rolls in a swanky restaurant, don’t mind if I do
  3. Dammit, re-start in the morning
  4. Ok I’ve made it through three days with no bread or pasta, that means I’m allowed a sandwich right?
  5. OMG Pret baguette I’ve missed you, come to me in all your carby buttery glory
  6. Back to the drawing board
  7. I’ve made it through a whole week and I feel awesome, go me!
  8. *Starts preaching about a gluten-free life to anyone who will/won’t listen*
  9. Yeah but I still eat cake. Cos it’s not bread or pasta you see
  10. Look at me I’ve lost 3 kilos! I’m the best!  I’m going to tell everyone about my newfound lifestyle and how it’s amazing and how I’m never going back to daily gluten consumption levels
  11. Did someone say pizza?!
  12. Give me all the pizza
  13. Pizza I love you, you are my one and only, I’m sorry I abandoned you for so long
  14. Ok that was a hungover Sunday so technically doesn’t count, but will do extra crunches at the gym tomorrow just to make sure
  15. Hmm I want to do a big workout, and that means carb-loading right?
  16. If there’s pasta in my salad, does that make it healthy pasta?
  17. I miss peanut butter. And jam.  And Marmite.  And cheese.  And bacon sandwiches.  And poached eggs and avo on toast cos I’m like totally fashionable
  18. But I feel great! Have so much more energy!  Fit into clothes better!  And I know all my friends and colleagues really appreciate me pointing all the negatives in their choice of sandwich or plate of spaghetti carbonara
  19. I’m not eating bread or pasta so can definitely afford to drink a bit more this evening, I’m in a calorie deficit after all
  20. So hungover.  Can’t move.  Can’t leave the house for supplies.  But I’m hungry.  Oo there’s some sliced bread in the freezer…