40 thoughts every girl has had whilst swiping through Tinder

  1. I’m not sure I could love a Gavin
  2. Or anyone with ice gem hair
  3. Why have so many guys stroked tigers?
  4. And been up Macchu Pichu?
  5. If I see ‘if you don’t look like your pictures then you’re buying the drinks until they do’ I might throw a tantrum
  6. Same goes for ‘willing to lie about how we met’
  7. Ooh a group of three guys, two of which are very hot, let’s look at a couple more photos
  8. Dammit02
  9. This guy is hot but really ripped and therefore probably only into going to the gym and talking about protein and therefore not someone I’d be interested in
  10. But I’ll swipe right anyway, just to see if he’s into me…
  11. I’ve swiped right about a dozen times today and got no matches.  What’s wrong with me?!
  12. Seriously, how many guys are called Tom these days?
  13. Gym selfies.  Jog on.
  14. Same goes for super-intense close-up moody selfies
  15. And those oh-I-just-happened-to-be-lifting-up-my-top-and-flashed-my-abs-whilst-taking-a-selfie-in-the-mirror photos
  16. Oh.  A cock shot.  Great.
  17. Cock shot with a beer can next to it for size reference.  Well this guy’s thought of everything.
  18. ‘Recently moved to London’, would probably think that a date in Leicester Square on a Saturday night would be a good idea.  Swipe left.
  19. Ooo a guy a used to fancy at uni.  Should I swipe right?
  20. But what if I swipe right and we match?  Wouldn’t that be super-awkward?
  21. And then he’ll tell everyone about it and it would just be totes hilaire for them but totes not-hilaire for me
  22. Screw it I’m swiping right anyway
  23. Errmahgahhhhd we matched!!  He fancies me!!!  I KNEW it!!
  24. OMG he just messaged me!  Hyperventilating right now.
  25. ‘Lol swipe right for a friend!’
  26. Dickhead.  Unmatch.01
  27. This guy has a bevy of bimbos in each picture = player = swipe left
  28. Strongly suspect that this guy, whilst attractive, is pretty short.  Analyse each photo carefully.  Yep he’s shorter than his girl mates.  Swipe left.
  29. I swear I recognise this guy, he’s really hot, have we been on a date before?
  30. Meh, what’s the worst that could happen?  Swipe right.
  31. Oh now I remember.  His opening message was ‘sit on my face’.  Unmatch.
  32. Holy hell this guy is super hot and tall and has a great body and all of his photos are really well lit and professional-looking and haaaaang on he looks quite a lot like David Gandy…
  33. I’ve matched with the last six people I’ve swiped right for, I am ON FIRE!!
  34. Eesh dude sort out that monobrow
  35. Wow my phone battery has run low really quickly
  36. My god this guy could be The One, definitely swipe right
  37. OMG we matched!!  Please message me, pleeeeeeeease…
  38. ‘I could go down on you for hours’
  39. Oh ffs…
  40. ‘There are no new people in your area’.  Screw this let’s have a look on Happn.03
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